Fuck Your Ableism

by - July 19, 2018

So, I've been hanging with Merlin (my stoma) for a month now. I was meant to keep updating but to be honest, I just couldn't be bothered. 


My mental health has been really rocky - up until surgery, it sucked, for the past month - it's been great, then this week, I've hit the bottom again.

Anyway, I've seen a lot of people on the internet telling disabled/chronically ill people how to feel, and it's really beginning to piss me off, so I thought I'd address it.

We are often told that we shouldn't let disabilities/illness define us, that we don't need to "rely" on aids (even by medical professionals) and personally, I think it's all bollocks.

I will never be ashamed of my stoma, or my Crohn’s or the way my body looks with a bag attached to it. Some days it's incredibly difficult and I find myself disassociating, but many days I'm incredibly thankful.

Yes, it DOES define who I am (in part). Don’t ever tell me not to let it define me - I can’t fucking ignore it, can I? Without my stoma, I probably wouldn’t be here, I certainly wouldn’t be as well I as I am currently.

Stop telling disabled people, or people with illnesses, diseases or conditions how they should feel, and remember that even if two people have the same diagnosis, they’re still individuals and may present/manage differently.

Yes, YOU are allowed to choose how to define yourself, and if YOU don't want to be seen as your disability/illness, then that's fine, but please stop telling others how to define themselves.

Basically go fuck yourselves and stop minimising people and justifying your ableism because “oh yeah, my friend who has a stoma/Crohns/fibro/endo/is a wheelchair user etc doesn’t agree...”, maybe not, because they are still an individual. It’s like justifying your racism with “I have a black friend...”, it ain’t cool, and I won’t lay here and watch it.

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